Friday, January 30, 2009

The Jane Austen Book Club Massacre

This might be fun.
Pride and Prejudice and Zombies features the original text of Jane
Austen's beloved novel with all-new scenes of bone-crunching zombie action.

As our story opens, a mysterious plague has fallen upon the quiet
English village of Meryton—and the dead are returning to life!
Feisty heroine Elizabeth Bennet is determined to wipe out the zombie menace, but
she's soon distracted by the arrival of the haughty and arrogant Mr. Darcy.

What ensues is a delightful comedy of manners with plenty of civilized
sparring between the two young lovers—and even more violent sparring on the
blood-soaked battlefield as Elizabeth wages war against hordes of flesh-eating

Complete with 20 illustrations in the style of C. E. Brock (the
original illustrator of Pride and Prejudice), this insanely funny expanded
edition will introduce Jane Austen's classic novel to new legions of

h/t to KB and Gary Farber

Thursday, January 29, 2009

An Idea Worth Thinking About

Remember phone number portability for cell numbers? Is it possible to accomplish the same sort of trick for email addresses?

Now that Charter looks to be about as viable as the Old Ashippun Buggy Whip and Chandlers Co it would be nifty if it was possible for me to not give up 8 years of email history when they eventually go belly-up.

If the system can figure out how to route cell calls properly independent of the carrier, can they do the same with Nigerian spam?

Wednesday, January 28, 2009

Deep Thought

So then, Michael Steele is pretty much just like Jack Olsen but without the snazzy Skipper's hat.

Even deeper? From the Defending Some Dreams Confab bio of Steele:
Michael currently oversees the Governor's Office on Community Initiatives,
partnering with faith-based, community and volunteer organizations to assist the
neediest states.

Isn't that the same as "working with community organizers?"

Monday, January 26, 2009

Two Movies

Last Chance Harvey. As my brother calls it; The AARP Love Story.

Sweet story of love and redemption. Kind and gentle, it promulgates the subversively radical notion that people can fall in love by talking rather than by bumping uglies to a grinding soundtrack.

No explosions. No punches thrown. Emma Thompson looks even lovelier than Mr Streisand (who looks marvelous.)

Seven Pounds

I can't say much about the plot without giving the twists away. Suffice it to say that I felt the scriptwriters cheated the audience by playing with the lead character's emotions. There is a really good story to be told here but I don't feel as if there was much interest in telling it.

Save this one for DVD rental on a night when you are feeling really, really good about yourself. See it with someone that will discuss it with you afterwards. For heaven's sake, see it sober.

Sunday, January 25, 2009

Bad Decision, Poorly Executed

Let's hope this person gets the help they need now. This is a pretty public cry for help.
This Wednesday, Jan. 21, 2009 photograph provided by the Colorado National
Monument shows a 1987 Dodge van that got stuck on a rock overhang , near Grand
Junction, Colo., after the driver sent the vehicle off a cliff in an apparent
suicide attempt. The 34-year-old male driver survived the incident.

Thursday, January 22, 2009

Nothing Good Lasts Forever

Goodbye, Jim Powell.

It just hurts to have him go to the team that broke Milwaukee's heart 4 decades ago.

Scooter, Running Out Of Loopholes, To Be Retried In Madison

Former Assembly Speaker Scott Jensen's new misconduct trial will stay
in Madison instead of moving to his home county, a state appeals court ruled

Jensen asked Dane County Circuit Judge David Flanagan last year to
move the proceedings to Waukesha under a 2007 state law that allows elected
officials to be tried in their home counties for ethics violations. Jensen had hoped the move would set him up for an acquittal: Waukesha is
a Republican stronghold, and Jensen represented the area for 14 years in the Legislature, building connections there.

Maybe 2009 won't be a total waste after all.

Obamaffects Noted

It's only been three days but already the sun is 7% brighter, my Mom is 5/8ths of an inch taller and all my eggs this morning were double yolks.

Oh yeah, don't forget to have your guns ready to be picked up on Monday. Thanks.

(That's a joke, kids)

Wednesday, January 21, 2009

Qualifications: Through The Filter Of Fox News

"You are one hot grandma."

Glenn Beck on his very first show on Fox News, to Sarah Palin, Governor of Alaska.

Tuesday, January 20, 2009

Oh, Frabjous Day!


Juvenile? Probably.

It's just fun to gloat for one day.

Must Be A Slow Day In Washington

All anybody is talking about is some party or another.

Monday, January 19, 2009

Presidential Tidbits

Here are a few little-known facts about US Presidents to get you through to the inauguration.

Millard Fillmore signed his name with little hearts over the two I’s

Thomas Jefferson invented the aglet

John Tyler had no vice president but carried a ventriloquist’s dummy to fill the position after someone finally noticed.

Wm Henry Harrison’s campaign slogan, “Tippecanoe and Tyler, too,” when played backwards says, “The Walrus is Buchanan.”

Thomas Jefferson’s second VP was George Clinton. Clinton would later go on to lead P-Funk to 6 Number One R&B hits.

John Quincy Adams was the first President to use the, “Pull my finger,” gag on the French ambassador. “Tirez mon doigt,” became the formal form of address in France for 28 years following that.

For four year, from 1845 to 1849, James Knox Polk was President of the United States. No one ever told Polk and he didn’t spend a single day in Washington.

Zachary Taylor was nicknamed “Old Rough and Ready” after his service in Florida. The nickname referred to the sheets at the motel he owned in Boca.

After Lincoln, US “Hiram” Grant became the second Republican President, showing the party’s early penchant for picking candidates for their celebrity.

James Garfield’s last words were, “Well, nuts.”

Between his two non-consecutive terms Grover Cleveland was a knuckleballer for the Chicago Cubs. In four years he had a 21-12 record with 48 saves and twenty eight hit batsmen.

William Howard Taft once ate at a single sitting twelve oysters, a side of smoked salmon, a tureen of turtle soup, a brace of quail, a Porterhouse steak, a quart of ice cream, half a quince pie and his Secretary of the Interior.

Warren G Harding may have been the first to be elected because he “Looked like a President,” when compared to his opponent. In truth voters gave him a landslide because he, “Smelled all Presidenty,” according to the exit polling.

Harry Truman had the hiccups throughout the entire Korean War. A complicit Press Corps hid the fact from the public for fear of demoralizing the nation.

Friday, January 16, 2009

Thursday, January 15, 2009


Forgive the time away from the keyboard, please. Some of you may have heard me speak about my grandmother. 105 years of experience and gristle, she lived life on her terms. She was in her own apartment until last Thursday morning when she fell.

Grandma did not recover and passed away in her sleep yesterday morning. A lot of the last week and some of the foreseeable future will be taken up with dealing with things which must be done.

On a lighter note, the economy ate my job last Friday so I have lots of time to take care of things.

Be well. IBB

Monday, January 12, 2009

Dear Comedy Central

I like Dane Cook as well as a lot of comedians who don't stick to family friendly material and I appreciate your efforts to keep certain words and concepts off the basic cable spectrum.

But maybe, just maybe, if you have to bleep more than five words out of a sentence in more than three sentences of a single joke you could leave that joke on the cutting room floor or save it for the DVD because the essence of timing and wordplay is just kind of wasted in a melding flurry of electronic harshness.


Thursday, January 08, 2009

Everybody Is Happy Again

It's official. Nobody is dissatisfied enough to run against the incumbents.

Neighboring On Celebrity

Supernanny airs Friday night from just down my street.

If you look close I'll bet you can see my house from there.

My Take

Let's see if it plays out like this. There are an awful lot of If/Then statements out there that allow an awful lot of wiggle room. Let's see if Harry Reid can figure out where he needs to wiggle.

1- Right or wrong Blagojevich is still Governor of Illinois.
2- The Governor of Illinois has the authority to name President Obama's successor.
3- Blago is sleazy. He is not, however, indicted or convicted.
4- Roland Burris is a dedicated Party candidate and has been elected to statewide office four times.
5- Jesse White won't be able to tumble out of the fact that he can't not certify Burris.

Actions forthcoming
1- Reid has already said he'd wait to see the outcome of legal maneuvers in Illinois. That buys him time and space for wiggling.
2- White says that his hands are tied.
3- The President-elect gives his nod.
4- Reid expresses regret that Blago made all of this necessary, accepts Burris' credentials and all is forgiven.

What You Won't See
1- Blago apologizing
2- Burris apologizing
3- Harry Reid's chiropractic bill for a severly twisted arm
4- A no-run pledge from Burris for 2010. If he can run and hold the seat it won't be the Dems standing in his way.

Wednesday, January 07, 2009

Instant Credibility Fail

You just cannot make this stuff up.

Who does Pajamas Media turn to when they want to bringus insight from the Israel front?

Joe the Plumber.

Tuesday, January 06, 2009

Frivolous Lawsuits


Former Senator Coleman pitches a hissy.

He Doesn't Get It

The voters gave myriad reasons for the Democratic victories in 2006 and 2008. They were tired of being given unworkable governments, tired of the war in Iraq and Afghanistan, tired of eroding civil rights and politicized civil service. The list goes on and on.

What did Ass. Minority Leader Glenn Grothman take away from all of this?
I just think they were voting against the Republicans because of the
decline in the stock market.”

“But,” he said, “that is the hand we were dealt.”

Poor, poor fellow. You can feel the sorrow, the unremitting remorse. To be cut low by the slings and arrows of plundered fortunes.

If only someone could have foreseen. If only someone had been there to protect us from the Republicans in charge. Perhaps he should be criticizing Paul Ryan and Flyin Jim Sensenbrenner. You know. The ones who've been abetting the dealer for the past eight years.

It's good that Grothman is absolutely without introspection. It leaves the door that much more open for 2010.

Monday, January 05, 2009

Quick Question

There was a lot of folderol back in the Nineties over what we'd call the first decade of the new Millenium. Would it be the Zeroes? The Aughts? The Singles?

Did we ever get that worked out? Is somebody still working on that?

Maybe we could put George on that at the end of the month.

(The aughts? wtf?)

Sunday, January 04, 2009

Barn Car

Let's see.

The car has been stored for most of 50 years. It has a racer's provenance. It is arguably one of the most beautiful body styles ever crafted on an English Wheel. It will fit nicely into the unrestored penchant the market has shown over the past few years.

I'd say this is a "Perfect Storm" car but Bonhams may well struggle to gavel it to a new record. This stunner sold at the Gooding Auction and brought the highest price ever paid for an automobile.

They are beautiful machinery.

41 Days

Pitchers and catchers report on my anniversary this year. Thank you, MLB.

Saturday, January 03, 2009

“Is It Ever Wrong to do the Right Thing?”

The New York Mills Regional Cultural Center has released the question for the 2009 Great American Think-Off and I am positive that there are readers of mine who will be able to tell a personal story on one or the other side of the question.

Visit or for details.

I'm Not Sure That's For Me. Thanks.

Given lay-offs and take-backs and just general uncertainty I'm not sure that I want Ford's offer to be treated like an employee when it comes to buying a new car.

I'll just stick to being a customer. Thanks.

Appropriate Response

Since Tim saw fit to accomodate Jay by posting "These Are The Daves I Know" it's only fair to post Tim Wilson's "George Is On My Mind."


Friday, January 02, 2009

Caption Contest

Three weeks left to the end of the error.
What is George thinking?