Dick Cheney Saves Christmas From The Poor

Vice President Dick Cheney returned early from a diplomatic mission on Tuesday in order to be present to break a possible tie on the administrations budget cutting bill. Sen. Ben Nelson, one of two Democrats to vote for an earlier version of the bill was expected to change his vote on the House/Senate compromise bill.

The VP cut short a visit to Pakistan and bypassed Saudi Arabia to be certain that the safety net could be pulled from under some of America's most needy so that there would be funds available for the next round of tax cuts.

Following the vote on Wednesday Cheney is expected to hit the road one last time before Christmas. A Cheney spokesman said, "He has just enough time to make it to Whoville and snatch the roast beast before heading home to celebrate with his family. The Cheneys will celebrate by watching only the parts of "It's A Wonderful Life" with Lionel Barrymore onscreen and roasting a reindeer."

Update: The VP was called upon to break a 50-50 tie vote on the budget bill but in a troubling maneuver the Dems forced enough change to require the reconsideration of the bill by the House after their Winter break. Olympia Snowe, one of 5 Rs to vote against the bill called it, "A cynical piece of legislation that punishes our most vulnerable citizens."

Cheney was heard to exclaim, "Humbug," and kicked an elf as he left the Senate chambers.