Phil Hill 1927-2008

Phil Hill, the only American-born F1 Champion has died of complications from Parkinson's. He was a connection to a simpler era in racing and one which, somehow, seems more noble in its absence.

RIP

Let's Play A Game (Blatantly Stolen Edition)

Identify the significance of this number.

Zero

Is it?
a) the number of moose shot by Joe Biden
b) the amount of Foreign Policy experience held by Sarah Palin
c) the number of reasons any thinking Hilary Clinton voter now has to vote for McCain
d) Aaron Rodger's Hall of Fame chances
e) all of the above

Stop That

There are plenty of things for which Sarah Palin can be criticized; her wacky notion that Creationism should be taught in biology classes or her assertion that rape and incest victims should be forced to bear the children resulting from those assaults, for instance.

But, I have seen over the past few days from commenters Left, Right and Wrong that the Governor should, "Stay home and take care of her kids." That's a silly argument that has no place in this debate.

We can and should talk about whether a woman whose political experience makes Dan Quayle look statesmanlike should be the backup for a 72-year-old cancer survivor. Palin's children have no position at this table until and unless she makes them an issue.

Move on.

Oh, Go Ahead. Admit It.

All of you dopes who ranted about Obama's "Temple" stage set should now admit that you were flabbergasted that, on camera, it looked pretty much like the front of your average Cracker Barrel.

Palin, Huh? Random Neural Firings

Well McCain didn't shoot himself in the foot, I suppose. At the very least, he managed to pick an Alaska Republican who's not under indictment yet. That whole pesky influence peddling in the nasty sibling divorce thing is pretty mild in the grand scheme of McCampaign so I suppose he'll be able to gloss it over.

I've already seen the first reference to GILF. That's over the top, perhaps, but damn funny. Picking the beauty queen isn't new for McCain, is it?

Is picking Palin McCain's way of telling all those Hillary voters, once and for all, to go run up an alley and holler, "Fish!?" She believes the polar opposite of just about everything the Senator stands for. If someone is telling him that picking Palin will secure the Gyno-American vote he probably needs better advice.

It's tough to criticize Palin. She seems to be a reformer in a state that needs one. I'm not sure she has coattails for McCain. It's not as if she's going to be carrying the neighboring states for him. (Unless, of course, you count the Canadians she's been schmoozing.) I'm probably not one to ask, though. I still believe that John McCain would be a reckless choice for America. Picking that Monty Python guy won't change my mind there.

Mythical Gateway To The Land Of The Dead Found

Archaeologists in SCUBA gear believe they have found the legendary Xibalba, the gateway to the land of the dead.

The Mayas believed that after you dies you found Xibalba by following a dog which could see at night. That dog lead your soul to Xibalba. The Mayas also believed that, according to Boingboing:

There were also lots and lots of human bones. According to the ancient Mayan
scripture Popol Vuh, the entrance to Xibalba was once protected by rivers filled
with blood, scorpions, and pus, and houses swarming with shrieking bats.

In other words, it was pretty much like Andy Dick's house.

Things That Make You Go, "Hmmmm?"

Deke thinks it's odd that John McCain can't get anyone to come hear his message.

Some might think it odd that a candidate would schedule a rally at a Nutter Center.

I think someone's lying when they say they haven't made up their mind.

There has been speculation that McCain would use the Dayton visit to
announce his running mate but McCain said he's not reached a decision yet, so
he's not sure if there will be an announcement here.

I mean, c'mon. Are you going to wait until you get to St Paul and then do "Evens/Odds" for it? If you haven't made up your mind by now it won't be any easier later.

In The Bathtub With Grampy McSame

Let's see.

Three years nearly to the weekend since Katrina show us what Modern Conservatism had to offer America and Hurricane Gustav looks to be lining up to suck the oxygen out of coverage of the GOP Convention.

Who says that God has no sense of humor?

Don't Feed The Sockpuppet !

One for Jay

Senator Straight Talk And The Chicken Prank

Eve Fairbanks explains The Chicken Prank and why the McCampaign is riding Deb Bartosheich so hard.

...a prank legendarily pulled at my high school in which students procured
well fewer than 20 live chickens, numbered them 1 through 20 with magic markers (leaving some numbers out), set them loose, and then sat back and gleefully
watched as hapless school officials ran around the school searching for the
remaining missing chickens that had never actually existed.

Nobody knows how many former supporters of Senator Clinton are going to swallow all their principles to vote for McCain but I'm willing to bet that the numbers are smaller than the number of Huckamaniacs who'll be staying home in November. If you're telling the Fred Thompson voters that McCain is safe for Democrats, what incentives are you giving them to come out.

McCain needs to hammer this one hard this week because it'll be a non-issue by Saturday given the vagaries of the news cycle. He should also wonder how much schadenfreude he can enjoy on this one. I'm betting his geniuses have misread their message again.



As an aside, have you seen this ad? "I admire his maverick and independent streak." That's not even a sentence, is it? At least, it's not a sentence in which the adjectives match.

It's Hard On The Streets For A Ninja

Teenage, Non-Mutant Ninjas Arrested In NJ

Okay, they weren't both teenage but you know what I mean. They were leaving messages for drug dealers.

The letters warned drug users and drug dealers that the "Shinobi will
stop your cruel and sadistic intentions with justified yet, merciful force."

In the letter, the two men accused drug dealers and users of
having "committed sin of passing impurity" to others and that the "wind
guides us to those of impure heart and intent."

"Impurity of heart" was , apparently, used in the broadest sense because it failed to cover the action of one of the ninja.

Tertkiewicz is also charged with harassment for a letter left for an
ex-girlfriend.

What A Wonderful World, Indeed.

Positive messages for a change.

Into The Breech

Peter Theron decides to take on the mantle. No word yet about an independent contribution by Dave Magnum.

As for the candidate's wife, Amy, she was less keen about voicing her
feelings for the candidate. "I'm not too interested in being interviewed by the
press," she said. "I'm a private person."

A representative of Tammy Baldwin said the congresswoman "is proud" of her record but would have no comment on Theron's candidacy.

Louis Kaye weighs in with more and a comic.

Don't Hope For More Oil. Hunt It Down And Kill It

Mark Fiore shows us where McCain got his idea for Drill Here, Drill Now. He stole it from the Clay Campaign.

What Does Your Tie Pin Say About You?

Sometimes I have to think that the geniuses behind John McCain's campaign are beyond clueless.

How do you think this is playing this week while everybody and his dog, Jack, is beating up on their candidate for his own personal housing crisis?

And now we see that the McCampaign is offering this lovely nautically themed lapel pin.

But what do these flags mean beyond the initials of John Sidney (Sidney?) McCain?

I am on fire and have dangerous cargo onboard.

My vessel is stopped and making no way in the water. (or Missing the Mark)

There you have the message from the doormat's own campaign. No matter onland or sea you should steer clear.

Okay. We Can Work With That

You want excitement? Try this

Biden is a good, safe pick.

No Contest

The caption is:

If he doesn't find another one there I think we can quit looking for any more of McCain's houses.

That's About Right

I touched a nerve with my post below. All I meant to do was show how some people are willing to grasp at straws when casting smears.

Now more information is available about Phillip Berg, the man who filed suit for an injunction claiming that Senator Obama is not a citizen of the US.

"Other attorneys should look to Mr. Berg's actions as a blueprint for
what not to do when attempting to effectively and honorably perform the duties
of the legal profession," Joyner wrote.

"This court has grown weary of Mr. Berg's continuous and brazen
disrespect toward this court and his own clients. Mr. Berg's actions ... are an
enormous waste of judicial time and resources that this court cannot, in good
conscience, allow to go unpunished," Joyner wrote.

Add to that Mr Berg's troofer assertions and we get a little insight into the soul and heart of the man who filed the suit that some are so anxious to believe.

BTW, Fact Check has the story, too.

Some of the conspiracy theories that have circulated about Obama are
quite imaginative. One conservative blogger suggested
that the campaign might have obtained a valid Hawaii birth certificate, soaked
it in solvent, then reprinted it with Obama's information. Of course, this
anonymous blogger didn't have access to the actual document and presents this as
just one possible "scenario" without any evidence that such a thing actually
happened or is even feasible.

We also note that so far none of those questioning the authenticity
of the document have produced a shred of evidence that the information on it is
incorrect. Instead, some speculate that somehow, maybe, he was born in another
country and doesn't meet the Constitution's requirement that the president be a
"natural-born citizen."

But the lift-quote from Politifact.com says it best.

"It is possible that Obama conspired his way to the precipice of the world’s
biggest job, involving a vast network of people and government agencies over
decades of lies. Anything’s possible. But step back and look at the overwhelming
evidence to the contrary and your sense of what’s reasonable has to take
over."

It's just that some folks seem to have an atrophied sense of what's reasonable.

Who's Barking Now?

The tinfoil hat brigades are storming the ramparts in Philadelphia and the Malkinistas stand by and cheer. If only we could believe this was the last act of those grasping at straws.

C'mon A My House, My House A C'mon

This ad cuts John McCain some slack. Depending on how you count the number of dwellings on the McCain properties it's probably more like ten houses.

Remember, this is the mavericky populist who wants you to believe the other guy is the elitist.

Let's Have A Naming Contest!

The battle is lost. It's time to bayonet the wounded. Please join me in finding a league-appropriate nickname for the new Waukesha team in the Northwoods League.

Current teams are listed below. Note the northwoodsiness of the names? That's your cue.

Alexandria Beetles
Duluth Huskies
La Crosse Loggers
Madison Mallards
Mankato MoonDogs
Rochester Honkers
St. Cloud River Bats
Thunder Bay Border Cats
Waterloo Bucks
Wisconsin Woodchucks

House rule #1- No Muskies- It's been done, done well, and the wounds are still painful

House entry #1
Waukesha Deerticks- They'll suck you dry and never get off your back

House rule #2- No profanity- Vulgarity, unfortunately, will be the rule of the day.

House entry #2
Waukesha Largemouth BAss- [Insert your own joke here]

Have fun

Coming Soon

Watch for the announcements.

Coming Up On An Anniversary

Mark your calendars for Friday. August 22 will mark four months since John McCain was able to drag himself to work to cast a vote on the floor of the Senate.

The good news is that he can't be voting with GWB if he's not voting at all.

I'll suggest a new slogan for the traveller. "John McCain; Nobody's Senator But...Well, Just Nobody's Senator"

A Request

I know that I have a reader or two who work for the Department of Administration. Could you please pass a request through channels to the Governor's Office?

Light the flagpole at the Governor's Mansion at night or strike the colors at sunset. One or the other is correct. Flying the flag in the dark, as it was on Saturday night, is not.

Thank you.

Reduce, Reuse, Recycle, Redneck

Uh-huh. You can. But, why would you?

Mahna Mahna (Repeat as needed)

I'd Tap That

One of the GOP stunt pilots, that storied group who did nothing but plot obstructions while Congress was in session and now are chattering in the dark, has come up with a novel idea. Rather than "Drill Here! Drill Now," Bill Sali wants us to start clear-cutting our way to energy independence.

Congressman Sali informed us that a solution to the high price of gasoline
was to make petroleum from “all those trees in our forests.” Stunned by the
comment, I suffered a momentary regret for not taking that high school chemistry
class those many years ago. He continued by saying there ‘”could be up to 40
barrels of oil ” in a single tree.

You may think that this was a slip of the tongue, a random misquotation of one of the great thinkers of our time. I say, "Nay, nay." In 2006 Rep Sali said

"Forty percent of the mass of every tree in the forest is crude oil," he
said. Going after that, he said, "could put Idaho in the oil business for the
first time."

This is what happens when a man, prone to seeing all issues as black and white, gets a small piece of information. That piece of information becomes his point of expertise and he will ride it until it drops even in the face of overwhelming argument to the contrary. Sali doesn't begin to consider effects of his idea. All bad things fall away in the gelled lens of his vision.

Bill Sali isn't a big problem for the US. People who reason like he does, or fail to, are.

Let Me Get This Straight

If you use it to support us we can, and probably will, sue you. But, if you use it against us it's a parody and, even if we do sue you, you probably have a legal right to use the trademark.

Is this a great country, or what?

ht Observer

UPDATE: These guys seem to struggle a lot with copyright laws. First Frankie Valli, then Mike Myers and now Jackson Browne have all attempted to have one Republican group or another stop breaking the laws.

If You're Going To Make A Big Deal Out Of "Situation A"

Then you shouldn't be surprised when someone points out the eerie similarities to "Situation B." That giant sucking sound you hear is Hannity's sphincter slamming shut.

What's The Difference? II

The difference between fantasy and sheer silliness is often very small.

On Several Lighter Notes

Sometimes silliness is called for.

Will We Wind Up Calling This McCain's war?

This just gets weirder and weirder. McCain says he talks to Saakashvili daily. Saakashvili says it's "several times" daily. That's weird all by itself, that a US senator would be carrying on side-channel talks with the ruler of a foreign nation. Nevermind that McCain's foreign policy guy is Georgia's PR guy.

Now, not content that President Bush is sending the Secretary of State to deal with the conflict in person, Grampy McSame has deputized Sorry Ol' Joe Lieberman and Lindsay "Little Jerk" Graham to go see if they can poke around and make it worse.

McCain says he speaks for all of America and says we stand beside Georgia and Saakashvili goes off and

today told Georgians
that the US military was moving in to take over control of the country's air and
seaports -- which would be a pretty big deal since much of the country still
appears to be an active war zone.

And about five minutes later the Pentagon said he didn't know what
he was talking about.

Is McCain a loose cannon rolling around on a deck covered in nuclear missiles? Let's let McCain's old friend Fred Thompson answer.

Admiral Josh Painter: This business will get out of control. It will get out of
control and we'll be lucky to live through it.

The Problem With Dancing With A Gorilla Is That The Gorilla Decides When You're Done

Georgian president to McCain: Move ‘from words to deeds’

McCain's foreign policy guy was Georgia's PR guy to the tune of $800,000. McCain nominated the Georgian leader for a Nobel Peace Prize but the committee was unconvinced.

Now McCain's mouth is writing checks that only the 82nd Airborne can cash.

That reminds me of an old Steve Goodman song.

She was young and beautiful and drowning
And I was the only hero in the crowd
Gave her artificial respiration,
Mouth to mouth resuscitation
Took her home and dried her out
Fed her lots of chicken soup and chocolate
Tucked her right in a feather bed
Nursed her through the night and with the
Morning light she rolled over, looked up
At me and said;

What have you done for me lately'
Cause lately I've been doing without you
What have you done for me lately
Don't let me be misconstrued
Cast your bread on the water
And what do you get?
Some hard luck
Story and your bread gets wet
What have you done for me lately'
Cause lately I've been doing without you

The Newest Celebrity

Now it's the bus that's running. It must be grand to have an appliance that's more popular than you are.

McCain's legendary bus, which has been garnering media attention since he
first ran for president four years ago, will make an appearance tomorrow morning
on the Richmond CBS 6 morning show. McCain won't be on the bus, but Lt. Gov.
Bill Bolling (R ) will be filling in to tout the GOP message.

Checking In

I need to be clear, here. The McCain camp's assertion is that Senator Obama shouldn't be President because so many people think he'd be the better President? And some voters are being swayed by that?

Are they idiots? Or just a victim of Yogiism?

"The Border Is Where The Russians Say It Is"

A fairly concise look at how we got the Georgians into this mess and why John McCain and his Cheneyesque entourage are exactly the wrong choice to get them out of it.

Meantime, a Georgian soldier tells a U.S. reporter in the same piece: "Write
exactly what I say. Over the past few years, I lived in a democratic society. I
was happy. And now America and the European Union are spitting on us." They are, aren't they? They had no business making the cheap promises and representations that were made. No business on practical policy grounds. No business on strategic grounds (though I guess it got Rummy another flag, near the
Salvadorans, say, for the Mesopotamian "coalition of the willing"). And now our
promises are unraveling and nakedly revealed for the sorry lies and crap policy
they are, with the emperor revealed to have no clothes, yet again. This is what
our foreign policy mandarins masquerade about as they play policy-making, in
their Washington work-stations.

Read the rest.

Feeling Lucky? I Don't Think So

The new Lucky apartments opened on the site of the old University Square complex last week. I'll spare you the old-guy rants about tearing stuff down and putting other stuff there within my lifetime. Suffice it to say, some of the stories are worth the beer you'd buy me to tell them and at least one involves the birth of my twins.

But, I digress.

First, the developer ran afoul of advocates for those in wheelchairs.

Second, 500 tons is still a million pounds. I don't think your elephant quite hit that.

A 359-unit apartment project in University Square officially celebrated its
opening Wednesday with the installation of a 500-ton elephant from India named
"Lucky."

Unless there's another elephant around somewhere, I'm thinking that two linebackers or three TKE's could have that thing over the door down and in the back of the Excursion before the light changed.

And finally, $1.80/hour for parking? Are you out of your mind? I know that anybody who parks there twice is out of theirs.

How Do You Stop A Drummer? Put A Piece Of Sheet Music In Front Of Him.

From Athens 2004.

Didja Ever...?

Did you ever think you'd be asking your Mom, "Have you seen the Paris Hilton video on the Internet?"

These Are The Jokes, Folks

My lovely wife and I volunteered at the braodcast of Whad'Ya Know? yesterday. Feldman goy in a few good shots during the monologue. I thought I'd share one from each side in the interest of fairness.
_______

McCain pulls ahead in the "Spot on the Head" polls. The spot was benign. The rest of him is malignant.

There were 2008 drummers at the Opening Ceremonies last night. The Democratic Party was going to use that idea at their convention but everyone was marching to a different one.

Look, Lady. I'm Sorry

...but I had a pretty severe water-chestnut jones going on and from the street that 3x5 card looked like it said Rumaki Sale. Okay?

Thought At Random

Pringles do not do well in the checked baggage on a 7 hour flight.

Let's Suppose

Let's suppose that Captain Kirk was running for President and he ran an ad in which different Klingons sang his praises.

Do you think that Earth dwellers would be more or less likely to vote for the Klingon-endorsed candidate?

"In Alabama , an atheist is someone who doesn't believe in Bear Bryant"

The quote that headlines this post is from Wally Butts of Georgia. It's taken from a list of college football quotes sent to me by email. I've not been able to find the source and, of course, my coworker does not cite one. If anyone knows where these were compiled I'll gladly give credit.



Enjoy.


_________________________________________________________


At Georgia Southern, we don't cheat. That costs money and we don't have any.



Erk Russell / Georgia Southern.

___________________________________________________________


"Football is only a game. Spiritual things are eternal. Nevertheless beat Texas."


Seen on a church sign in Arkansas prior to the 1969 game.

_______________________________________________________________


"After you retire, there's only one big event left....and Iain't ready for that."



Bobby Bowden / Florida State

________________________________________________________________


"The man who complains about the way the ball bounces is likely to be the guy who dropped it."



Lou Holtz / Arkansas

_________________________________________________________________________



"When you win, nothing hurts."



Joe Namath / Alabama

_________________________________________________________________________



"Motivation is simple. You eliminate those who are not motivated."



Lou Holtz / Arkansas

_________________________________________________________________________



"If you want to walk the heavenly streets of gold, you gotta know the password: "Roll, tide, roll!"


Bear Bryant / Alabama

_______________________________________________________________________



"A school without football is in danger of deteriorating into a medieval study hall."



Frank Leahy / Notre Dame

___________________________________________________________________________



"There's nothing that cleanses your soul like getting the hell kicked out of you."



Woody Hayes / Ohio State

___________________________________________________________________________



"I don't expect to win enough games to be put on NCAA probation.I just want to win enough to warrant an investigation."



Bob Devaney / Nebraska
__________________________________________________________________________



"In Alabama , an atheist is someone who doesn't believe in BearBryant."



Wally Butts / Georgia

____________________________________________________________________________



"You can learn more character on the two-yard line than anywhere else in life."



Paul Dietzel / LSU

__________________________________________________________________________



"It's kind of hard to rally around a math class."



Bear Bryant / Alabama

______________________________________________________________________


When asked if Fayetteville was the end of the world. "No, but you can see it from here."



Lou Holtz / Arkansas
_____________________________________________________________



"I make my practices real hard because if a player is a quitter, I want him to quit in
practice, not in a game."


Bear Bryant / Alabama
_______________________________________________________________________



"There's one sure way to stop us from scoring-give us the ball near the goal line."



Matty Bell / SMU

_______________________________________________________________________



"Lads,you're not to miss practice unless your parents died or you died."



Frank Leahy / Notre Dame
___________________________________________________________________________



"I never graduated from Iowa , but I was there for two terms - Truman's and Eisenhower's."



Alex Karras / Iowa
____________________________________________________________________________



"My advice to defensive players: Take the shortest route to the ball and arrive in a very bad humor."



Bowden Wyatt / Tennessee
____________________________________________________________________________



"I could have been a Rhodes Scholar, except for my grades."



Duffy Daugherty / Michigan State

____________________________________________________________________________



"Always remember ..... Goliath was a 40 point favorite over David."



Shug Jordan / Auburn

______________________________________________________________________________



"They cut us up like boarding house pie. And that's real small pieces."



Darrell Royal / Texas

____________________________________________________________________________



"Show me a good and gracious loser, and I'll show you a failure."



Knute Rockne / Notre Dame

____________________________________________________________________________



"They whipped us like a tied up goat."



Spike Dykes / Texas Tech

________________________________________________________________________



"I asked Darrell Royal, the coach of the Texas Longhorns, why he didn't recruit me and he said: "Well,Walt, we took a look at you and you weren't any good."



Walt Garrison / Oklahoma State

_________________________________________________________________________



"Son, you've got a good engine, but your hands aren't on the steering wheel."



Bobby Bowden / Florida State

__________________________________________________________________



"Football is not a contact sport - it is a collision sport. Dancing is a contact sport."



Duffy Daugherty / Michigan State

_____________________________________________________________



After USC lost 51-0 to Notre Dame, his postgame message to his team: "All those who need showers, take them."



John McKay / USC

___________________________________________________________________________



"If lessons are learned in defeat, our team is getting a great education."


Murray Warmath / Minnesota

__________________________________________________________________________



"The only qualifications for a lineman are to be big and dumb. To be a back, you only have to be dumb."



Knute Rockne / Notre Dame

_______________________________________________________________________________



"Oh, we played about like three tons of buzzard puke this afernoon."



Spike Dykes / Texas Tech

_____________________________________________________________________________



"It isn't necessary to see a good tackle. You can hear it."



Knute Rockne / Notre Dame

_____________________________________________________________________________



"We live one day at a time and scratch where it itches."



Darrell Royal / Texas

_________________________________________________________________________



"We didn't tackle well today but we made up for it by not blocking."



John McKay / USC
________________________________________________________________


"Three things can happen when you throw the ball, and two of them are bad."



Darrell Royal / University of Texas

________________________________________________________________________



"I've found that prayers work best when you have big players."


Knute Rockne / Notre Dame

_______________________________________________________________________



"Gentlemen, it is better to have died a small boy than to fumble this football."



John Heisman

It Would Be Tough To Care Less

It looks like Paul Ryan made a list of the 50 most beautiful people in Washington despite the hair in this pic. Okay, no big deal. He can't control who puts him in what post.

I just thought it was interesting to see the company he keeps on the list and in the House.

Inside Baseball

For a minute portion of my audience...

A Republican forum will held at Hatch Public Library in Mauston at 7 p.m.
[Thursday] The Juneau County Action Committee is sponsoring that
forum.

Republican candidates Ed Brooks of Reedsburg, Craig Buswell of Kendall, Anthony Carver of Necedah and Todd Allbaugh of Richland Center are vying for the seat formerly held by Cheryl Albers.

The Dems will have their forum at Thursday at 7 p.m. at the Reedsburg Public Library.

Go get 'em Ed.

Mike McCarthy Channels Strother Martin

You've got to get your mind right.

Thanks For The Endorsement, White Haired Dude

Now this is funny.

ht Observer

Thanks For The Endorsement, White Haired Dude

Take My Wife, Please

John McCain seems to have forgotten that, even though he's accused Senator Obama of looking too Presidential, he needs to maintain some sense of decorum as a current (if delinquent) senator himself.

Mr Straight Talk walked his Ferragamos up to The Sturgis Motorcycle Trailer Rally on Monday and promptly stuck his foot in it. McCain decided that the best way to honor this country's veterans, ostensibly his reason to be hobnobbing with the Diablos and their kith was to offer up his show-bride to the crowd at the Buffalo Chip Campground's nightly Miss Buffalo Chip Contest.

Imagine for a moment that FDR had suggested Eleanor compete in a topless, and often bottomless, beauty pageant. Imagine 41 suggesting Bar show up in her bikini and strut a little in Sturgis on a Monday night, just to liven things up. Even our current Frat-Boy-In-Chief knows better than to suggest that Laura, a hottie in her own right, should drop trou and play a quick game of grab-the-wienie off the back of a Soft Tail. She'd kick him so hard that...

The problem isn't that Senator Obama is acting too Presidential for America. The problem is that John McCain isn't acting Presidential enough. He's campaigning on the quick joke and the snide comeback and, as is often the case with those who don't think through their reactions, he's very often wrong.

It's sad to watch the meltdown. There are those who say his campaign isn't in his control. There's no one but the candidate to blame for what he said in Sturgis.

The One?

Bush said to James Robinson: 'I feel like God wants me to run for
President. I can't explain it, but I sense my country is going to need me.
Something is going to happen... I know it won't be easy on me or my family, but
God wants me to do it.'

Random Neural Firing

The noisiest place on the planet is the Pyrex factory stacking room.

If You're Going To Make "Stupid" A Major Part Of Your Campaign For The Week, You'd Better Be Able To Explain Why "Stupid" Is Important

Senator Obama, to use McCain's words, injected a little humor into the campaign and said, in essence, "I'm black and John McCain wants you to keep that in the back of your mind for the next three months."

McCampaign popped up like Horschak, hooting, "Oooh, oooh Mr Kot-tair. Senator Obama is playing the race card."

Nevermind that no one seems to know what difference the "race card" makes in this case. Senator Obama has in the past acknowledged that he is, in fact, black.

Hallmark doesn't make a race card and, when asked this weekend, McCain couldn't explain why it make a pinch of difference. Just for an added bonus Mr Straight Talk stammers like a Sophomore asking for a Prom date when he's asked to name one positive thing he's done for African-Americans.

Watch him react like a cow on ice when he gets the question.



ht Atrios

Pete Kennedy Is Right

Crocs on a man look dorky unless he's at the beach.

What's Your Handicap?

It's a b-b-b-bear.

Has-Been Celebrities

Paris, Britney, & John

This Ain't The DaVinci Code

Owen says that he doesn't get it. David Gergen does.

"When McCain's camp calls Obama "The Messiah" and "The One", he's really
calling him "upitty." I'm from the South, and we understand what that means.
That's code."

Tell Ya What

You kids sort it out and I'll see if I can work up to caring after the end of November. This is more drama meaning less than even my ex could come up with.

My, How The Mighty Have Fallen

It's the first weekend in August, kids.

How low do you think McCain is willing to go to get elected?

World's Oldest Jokes

A British website claims to have found the 10 Oldest Jokes. These are the jokes from which all others have descended. The oldest, it seems, is a fart joke.

1. Something which has never occurred since time immemorial: a young woman
did not fart in her husband's lap (1900 BC – 1600 BC Sumerian Proverb Collection
1.12-1.13)

Somehow, I find that to be moderately reassuring. There are at least two on the list with which we are all familiar.

5. Odysseus tells the Cyclops that his real name is nobody. When
Odysseus instructs his men to attack the Cyclops, the Cyclops shouts: "Help,
nobody is attacking me!" No one comes to help. (Homer. The Odyssey 800 BC)

6. Question: What animal walks on four feet in the morning, two at noon
and three at evening? Answer: Man. He goes on all fours as a baby, on two feet
as a man and uses a cane in old age (Appears in Oedipus Tyrannus and first
performed in 429 BC)

There was one, "Yo Mama," that might have been called out during The Dozens in Philadelphia last night.

8. Augustus was touring his Empire and noticed a man in the crowd who bore a
striking resemblance to himself. Intrigued he asked: "Was your mother at one
time in service at the Palace?" "No your Highness," he replied, "but my father
was." (Credited to the Emporer Augustus 63 BC – 29 AD)

But there was one joke on the list which I found surprisingly relevant to today.

4. A woman who was blind in one eye has been married to a man for 20
years. When he found another woman he said to her, "I shall divorce you because
you are said to be blind in one eye." And she answered him: "Oh, John McCain,
have you just discovered that after 20 years of marriage!?" (Egyptian circa 1100
BC)

Mixed Messages

There are those who would have us in a dither about Kanye West or Ludacris saying something or another about Senator Obama's campaign for President. They say that the "culture" is a stain on his candidacy.

I say, "horse-hockey."

Senator Obama isn't responsible for Ludacris' vocabulary. Kanye West will not be appointed to lead FEMA in an Obama administration.

If these bloggers are so concerned about who is hanging out with whom they should stop to consider. Last weekend Senator Obama was leading a Senatorial tour to meet with the heads of state in the Middle East and Europe. This weekend John McCain is meeting with the Diablos and their buds at the Buffalo Chip Campground. It's too bad he won't be there Friday night. He won't be in time for the Poster Girl Contest. We know how much John McCain likes young models. He's married two of them so far.

Must Have Been A Coincidence

Or maybe the McCampaign is just that far out of touch with everyday America.

America wants to talk about Iraq and Gas Prices and Fannie/Freddie. McCain wants to talk about Paris.

Countering criticism that his campaign has spiraled into negativity,
Republican John McCain said Thursday he was "proud" of how he has run for the
presidency