The Hawk Can't Read

At the risk of posting a parody of a parody of a cliche, I can think of nothing more to say about this than:

Holy Schneikies

A 13-year-old girl touring Fenway Park on a school trip was attacked by a
resident red-tailed hawk that drew blood from her scalp Thursday. She wasn't
seriously hurt, but some observers saw an omen for a certain New York Yankees
slugger in the attack at the home of the Boston Red Sox.

Wait for..............The Rest Of The Story!

The girl's name is Alexa Rodriguez.