WHY DID THE CHICKEN CROSS THE ROAD?
HILLARY CLINTON: I have vast experience with chickens and, if elected, I will ensure that every chicken has the ability to cross any road it desires.
BARACK OBAMA: It was time for change.
JOHN EDWARDS: To escape exploitation.
BILL RICHARDSON: It had lots of different kinds of experience on its own side of the road and was ready for a new and bigger challenge.
DENNIS KUCINICH: I'm not sure. Let me pull out my Constitution and see what it says about chickens.
MIKE GRAVEL: It was the war. It makes everybody do crazy things.
RON PAUL: Higher prices for eggs on the other side; it's the invisible hand of the free market at work.
MITT ROMNEY: The chicken has always been on that side of the road.
MIKE HUCKABEE: What!? The chicken crossed the road? There's no way that could happen in nature. Must be a miracle! Praise Jayzuss!
JOHN McCAIN: If you've never been in captivity yourself, you can't possibly imagine what you'd do to get away.
TOM TANCREDO: It was a Mexican chicken, and it was looking for your job. And your daughter.
RUDY GIULIANI: 9/11.
TOMMY THOMPSON: What?
FRED THOMPSON: *zzzzzz*
GEORGE W. BUSH: It was a road-crossing chicken. In other words, it was the kind of chicken that liked to cross roads. *heh heh heh*
DICK CHENEY: *blam* *blam* *blam* Oops, sorry.