Sunday, January 13, 2008

Road-Crossings

Richard Russell sent it to me but it came off the Internets.

WHY DID THE CHICKEN CROSS THE ROAD?
2008 Edition

HILLARY CLINTON: I have vast experience with chickens and, if elected, I will ensure that every chicken has the ability to cross any road it desires.

BARACK OBAMA: It was time for change.

JOHN EDWARDS: To escape exploitation.

BILL RICHARDSON: It had lots of different kinds of experience on its own side of the road and was ready for a new and bigger challenge.

DENNIS KUCINICH: I'm not sure. Let me pull out my Constitution and see what it says about chickens.

MIKE GRAVEL: It was the war. It makes everybody do crazy things.

RON PAUL: Higher prices for eggs on the other side; it's the invisible hand of the free market at work.

MITT ROMNEY: The chicken has always been on that side of the road.

MIKE HUCKABEE: What!? The chicken crossed the road? There's no way that could happen in nature. Must be a miracle! Praise Jayzuss!

JOHN McCAIN: If you've never been in captivity yourself, you can't possibly imagine what you'd do to get away.

TOM TANCREDO: It was a Mexican chicken, and it was looking for your job. And your daughter.

RUDY GIULIANI: 9/11.

TOMMY THOMPSON: What?

FRED THOMPSON: *zzzzzz*

GEORGE W. BUSH: It was a road-crossing chicken. In other words, it was the kind of chicken that liked to cross roads. *heh heh heh*

DICK CHENEY: *blam* *blam* *blam* Oops, sorry.

2 comments:

Karen Aikman said...

As long as the chicken doesn't try to cross any road in Evansville. Chickens were banned within the city limits nearly 4 years ago.

capper said...

You could update the Bush one by saying something like: "We need to invade Iran so that we can promote road-crossing among all the chickens of the world. Especially there in Luxembourg, which is the capital of Iran."